The Care and Feeding of an Anxious Person

So far, this blog has covered a few rough basics on what it's like to be anxious - or rather, what it's like for ME to be anxious. However, I know a lot of you reading (wow, there are so many of you reading o_O) have an anxious person in your life and would like to know how to help them. Here are some basic, basic tips that can help - feel free to use them or ignore them as seems appropriate to your situation.

So, in no particular order, here are helpful hints on the Care and Feeding of Anxious Persons.

Educate yourself.

This is perhaps the most important thing you can do for the anxious person in your life - go learn. Read books, search the internet, talk to doctors, talk to other anxious people, absorb what you learn. Try to find out specifically what your friend is suffering from - I, for example, have GAD or Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), which is different from Panic Disorder, which is different from PTSD, which is different from having phobias, which is different from OCD, although all can have the same symptoms.

So go out and learn about what exactly this person you care for is going through. That'll give you a good starting point.

For those with anxiety and/or panic disorders, I love Claire Weeks' Hope and Help for Your Nerves. Claire Weeks wrote this book in the 1970s - there are no fancy, convoluted terms or theories. I don't think she ever mentions the word "anxiety." But her simple, kind, no-nonsense approach leads you step by step through the horrible unknowns of panic and anxiety. It's written in short, concise chapters, specifically for someone who is as wound as a top. It's also really awesome for friends and family too!

Be supportive

Don't only ask, "What can I do to help?" but more concrete offers too. "Wanna come over for pizza?," if your friend has trouble cooking, or "Wanna hang out on Saturday?" if you know they have trouble being alone. Be there. Be patient. Try not to be offended if the person says no or doesn't return your calls - they're lost in their own, personal nightmare. They do hear you, though. It does help.

Anxious People are Human Too

Don't treat them like an invalid. Don't offer to help with the things you know they can still do. Respect their right to not talk about their disease. Keep laughing as much as you possibly can.

In the Event of Panic...

Panic attacks are fuck-off scary for anyone within a 50 foot radius. Here are some Helpful Hints.

-Don't leave them alone. Don't overcrowd.

-Don't be afraid to ask for help.

-Don't dismiss their fears, however silly they may seem to you.

-Change location, even by just a room.

-Remember it will, eventually, end on its own.

You're a Person Too

Having an anxious person in your life is hard. End of story. Remember to take care of yourself as well as your friend; remember that this is really hard on you, too.

Resources

The best book on anxiety, ever.  - Dr Claire Weeks' Hope and Help For Your Nerves

An article on the effects of anxiety in relationships. 

What Not To Do if your friend has anxiety.

Keep in mind that several thousand books have been written on this topic, so this is just the beginning of the beginning about anxiety. If you have a specific question, or want me to elaborate on a specific topic, please contact me via the comments, a Private Message on Facebook, or email!